American EU DudeMar 30, 20211 minEU vows to crack down on ‘satire’The European Commission wants to ban so-called “parody” accounts on Twitter and Facebook, claiming social media is no place for humour –...
Martini SeltzermayrMar 11, 20211 min'EU Official' to retire after years of serviceA leading light of the Brussels media scene is set to retire after a stellar decades-long career tipping off members of the press,...
American EU DudeMar 10, 20211 minLeaked doc reveals EU proliferation plans Future of Europe, Inc.: EU gets into the new institutions business As various and sundry EU presidents approve the Conference on the...
American EU DudeFeb 18, 20212 minEU unveils new Strategic Automaton for TradeThe European Commission today made a bold bid to modernise its trade policy by announcing the creation of a Fully Strategic Automaton for...
BerlaymonsterFeb 16, 20211 minEUHQ unveils 5yr plan to consider using Twitch/Clubhouse badly2026 should see leading EU politicians make a tentative and embarrassing foray into "new" social media platforms currently flavour of the...
Martini SeltzermayrJan 26, 20211 minGerman media reports “only 8% reliable” German media reports may be as little as 8% reliable, the latest round of Berlin-based scuttlebut has revealed. The news comes as EU...
American EU DudeJan 20, 20211 minEU seeks new euphemisms for “money”The European Commission wants to find new ways to avoid saying the word money, as fears rise that the public could figure out what EU...
BerlaymonsterJan 18, 20211 minNew European Bauhaus hit by builder delaysEU hopes for a New European Bauhaus movement face delays, with the contractor responsible citing "planning fuck-ups with the Council,"...
Martini SeltzermayrJan 15, 20212 minRutte named Italian prime minister in Brussels backroom dealThe Netherlands’ Mark Rutte will be named Prime Minister of Italy as part of an EU-brokered deal, after the Rome government suffered the...
BerlaymonsterJan 13, 20211 minEU to adopt Belgian French as lingua franca. Une fois.English will no longer be the go-to language for conducting EU affairs, the European Commission has announced, following complaints from...
BerlaymonsterJan 11, 20211 minEU presidency handover leaves Germany only *unofficially* running EuropeGermany at the end of last year handed over the reins of the EU's rotating six-month presidency to Portugal, depriving Europe's...
Martini SeltzermayrJan 11, 20212 minTwitter to delete EU commission accounts over "boring" contentUS hate-basin Twitter has announced it will permanently suspend the accounts of all 27 EU commissioners, citing “horrifically boring”...
Martini SeltzermayrJan 5, 20212 minEU to publish vaccine strategy as soon as 2026The EU is to launch its jab-creation strategy in response to the Covid crisis as early as 2026, officials have told Berlaymonster. The...
BerlaymonsterDec 11, 20201 minHungary, Poland get 2030 target to cut autocracy by 55pcNaughty ruling governments in Hungary and Poland have until 2030 to reduce repressive measures by more than half, under non-binding...
BerlaymonsterNov 13, 20201 minBack to School for Bad EuropeansNaughty un-European citizens are to be sent for re-education at a new EU training center, under latest ideas plucked from thin air by...
BerlaymonsterSep 18, 20203 minA Common Crisis Strategy Action Plan Speech Towards A Post-Covid Europe. Sustainably.President, Honourable Members, And Dishonourable ones. Let me get straight to the point. We are in unprecedented times. The most...
BerlaymonsterSep 2, 20201 minEU Stable-Door Directive takes effectThe EU’s Stable-Door directive enters into force this week, in a bid to clamp down on the future risk of horses bolting. The bill comes...
BerlaymonsterSep 27, 20181 minEXCLUSIVE: This blog has gone downhillThis blog has gone downhill and has pretty much died a death, this blog can reveal. Once a talking point and frequent reference website...