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New European Bauhaus hit by builder delays

EU hopes for a New European Bauhaus movement face delays, with the contractor responsible citing "planning fuck-ups with the Council," and something about him having "left some tools at another job."


Supplies are also an issue "what with covid and brexit and all that," he said.


However, sources close to the builder say the lack of any foreseeable progress is more down to the commission "not having a clue what it wants in the first place."


"I mean, it's a bridge, it's a platform, it's an 'approach'... how the hell do you build one of them?"


"All we know so far is it's going to entail concrete steps. So the brick order is now on hold."


It's also understood that internal services consultations on the initiative got held up over disagreement within the College of Commissioners between radical functionalists and aesthetic purists.


With the 'space between buildings' just as important to the commission, the contractor is understood to have started work on that instead.


Environmental NGOs have called for an impact assessment of the New European Bauhaus, but commission experts assured them this project would have no impact whatsoever.


"Look, we can do you an aesthetic based on utility and form reflecting function with with predominant rectilinear and geometric shapes, but it'll cost ya."

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