Altiero SpaghettiJan 132 minEU on track to meet target-setting targetThe European Commission is on track to reach its target to set 2030 targets for every single policy area, a spokesperson said today. The...
Martini SeltzermayrJan 32 minBerlaymonster predictions for 2022Every year presents a string of surprises and 2021 was no exception. At this time twelve months ago, who could have possibly foreseen...
American EU DudeDec 14, 20211 minEUHQ imposes emergency ban on ‘gas package’ jokesIn a surprise move officials said was aimed at “preventing dangerous leaks”, the European Commission imposed a two-day moratorium on...
Martini SeltzermayrDec 9, 20212 minEU in disarray as Slovenia refuses to hand over presidency Brussels was thrown into disarray today after Slovenian Prime Minister Janez Janša repeatedly refused to accept the results of a vote...
American EU DudeDec 8, 20212 min'Gig economy’ proposal creates new EUBER app, redefines EU officials as ‘platform workers'In a surprise move, a new European Commission proposal to regulate Uber drivers and other ‘gig economy’ workers will instead reclassify...
Martini SeltzermayrDec 3, 20211 minNaughty children must be given lump of biofuel, EU official warnsEU officials today reminded naughty children that they can expect a lump of biofuel in their Christmas stocking this year, with new EU...
American EU DudeDec 2, 20211 minEUHQ developing new cliché to fight latest Covid variantEuropean Commission scientists are secretly working on a new cliché to deploy against the COVID-19 Omicron variant, after discovering...
Martini SeltzermayrDec 1, 20212 minEU boss turns back altogether on Christianity, embraces SatanismEuropean Commission president Ursula von der Leyen today confirmed she was converting to Satanism, doubling down on earlier plans to have...
Altiero SpaghettiNov 26, 20212 minNu? No thanks, wokestersBy Albion Hardon of The Lactator Must we tear down our statues to Kent and Delta? It seems that in our woke age every variant must be...
BerlaymonsterNov 26, 20211 minBoris riles further EU capitals with blame for UK problems Boris Johnson has riled yet more European governments with demands they do more to solve British problems. Hot on the heels of a letter...
American EU DudeNov 23, 20211 minEuropean Parliament votes to keep EU farm subsidies, but only for weedIn a landmark vote, the European Parliament today agreed to a sweeping reform of the EU’s Common Agricultural Policy, which will now pay...
Altiero SpaghettiNov 16, 20211 minShock in London as Tory HQ relocates to the Netherlands The British Conservative party is relocating its headquarters to Amsterdam, after a court ordered the Tories to slash their corruption...
Altiero SpaghettiNov 16, 20212 minCOP26 consolidated outcome publishedThe final consolidated conclusions of the COP26 climate talks in Glasgow have now been published, revealing the true extent of the...
American EU DudeNov 10, 20211 minMacron unveils new social media platform ‘Le Livre du Visage’French President Emmanuel Macron today launched a new EU effort to counter the global influence and irresistible menace of Facebook with...
BerlaymonsterNov 4, 20211 min"YOU sort it out" COP26 leaders tell publicWorld leaders have told the general public that they're just going to have to pull their weight in tackling climate change, because...
BerlaymonsterOct 18, 20212 minRevealed: The full list of EU 'tricks' to make football fans more climate-consciousThe European Commission has spent 700 000 euros on a video ad to make football fans more aware of the things they could do to contribute...
Altiero SpaghettiOct 5, 20212 minFrance close to signing ‘great’ new deal to sell submarinesThe French government said Monday it was close to clinching a deal to sell billions of euros worth of nuclear submarines to SpongeBob...
Martini SeltzermayrOct 4, 20212 minGlobal elite left red-faced as tax-haven links revealedPoliticians and the super-rich across the world have been embarrassed by yet more revelations that they are stashing their cash in the...
Martini SeltzermayrSep 28, 20212 minUK sends in army to resolve other Brexit problems tooThe UK has sent in its army to resolve an impasse with the EU, after discovering that seemingly intractable Brexit-related problems can...
Martini SeltzermayrSep 27, 20212 minGerman election catastrophe shows we were right to BrexitBy Albion Hardon of The Lactator Before the dust has even settled on the German election, indeed before I’ve even bothered to check what...