UKIP’s ‘big-hand’ model is EU migrant
Andrei Mateev said he had moved to Britain for a better life, to seek work as a massive-hand model.
“I have friend with a very large ear. He said come to UK. There is work for us.”
Brits with abnormally huge bodily extremities simply aren’t willing to do the modelling work any more, Mateev’s agent Geoff Humunculus said.
A UKIP spokesman stood by the campaign, and the choice of Mateev as a model.
“It’s not the same,” he said. “Andrei is different. No-one else could do that job. It’s just not the same. Because… it isn’t.”
But party supporters were incandescent, although they were unsure what incandescent meant or how to spell it.
“They cum here, at the behest of the LIBLABCON cartel, with their massive hands, TAKING THE JOBS of honest hardworking BRITS with massive hands,” said “septicisle54” on one popular online UKIP support forum.