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  • Writer's pictureBerlaymonster

UK to table ‘tick-box’ candidate as new EU commissioner

As speculation already starts to mount as to who may feature in the next EU commission administration, it seems the British government is intent on putting forward a candidate to shatter the traditional eurocrat mould.

A UK official told the ‘monster, “we’re going all out here. We want to tick as many boxes as possible.”

“A gay candidate is no longer the groovy choice – we need to go further.”

“If we take the gay route, they’ve got to be positively camp” the source told BM.

“Otherwise, the PC choice of a chick for commissioner has to be the way forward.”

Either way, the source added, hopefuls would benefit from being “of a beige complexion or darker, from a working class upbringing if possible, and maybe even a bit handicapped. But not too much, because that wouldn’t look good on telly.”

A knowledge of modern British street patois would be an advantage, and there is talk the successful candidate may even be drawn from the tiny disenfranchised and oppressed Europhile minority…

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