The European Constitution is to be rewritten by Richard Curtis, award-winning screenwriter of Love Actually, Notting Hill and Four Weddings and a Funeral.
In a bid to “reconnect with the citizen”, European top-dogs have approached the millionaire scribe with what both parties are referring to as “a very exciting proposal”.
The draft, currently in pre-production, will feature a handsome, bumbling Englishman who falls in love with his Polish cleaner, two Hungarian artists backpacking around the Low Countries, and, in what is seen as a nod to future enlargement plans, a Turkish restaurant owner.
“There’ll be something for everybody,” said a spokesman for the writer, “whether you’re more at home in a tapas bar in Madrid or a drab Communist housing estate in Berlin, you’ll find somebody you can identify with.”
The Finnish Presidency has put its full weight behind the project, possibly in return for a cameo role as a traffic warden.
FilmFour, the production company, issued the following statement: “The Constitution was rejected because it was inaccessible. By pepping it up with a few swear words, self-deprecating humour, interwoven narrative and a happy ending, this version will win the hearts, minds and wallets of the citizen.”
Richard Curtis’ Constitution (15), running time approx 687 mins, in cinemas from May 9th, 2007.