Following EU claims that access to covid vaccine supplies can't be "first come, first served" because it's not "the neighborhood butcher’s" , Berlaymonster brings you the 9 other ways that fulfilling vital vaccine supply contracts in the context of a deadly global pandemic is not the same as going to the butchers.
Most butchers wouldn't sell in advance millions of an as-yet-uninvented sausage
If you spend three months haggling over the price of your sausages they'll probably go a funny colour
If the neighbour secretly bags the last of the sausages (while you're haggling), the butcher can probably get some more. Or you could get them elsewhere.
Buying sausages rarely prompts three days of armchair legal analysis on social media
The local gossip in pharmaceuticals procurement is limited
The pharmaceutical company is unlikely to 'put in a bit more for you, that ok?' (the opposite in fact)
At the butcher's only the produce is left gutted
You don't develop immunity to sausages.
No matter how posh the pharma company, they don't do artisanal cheeses and chutneys.
Next week: How international climate-change negotiations aren't like visiting one of those big out-of-town tile shops.