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Plans on track to ‘poo in Europe’s hats’ insists Cameron

Europe’s leaders are “onside” with Britain’s EU reform plans, which include allowing Britons to do a poo in the EU’s hats. That’s according to Cameron himself, following a series of meetings with fellow EU leaders.

“It’s great to see that there’s a real momentum for change, the kind of changes that we’re after” Cameron said today.

“Hmm. Might need some more, Janusz. I’m quite full.”

The reform plans were “good for Britain, but also good for Europe.”

Many have pushed back at his calls to be allowed to poo in the EU’s hats.

But Cameron insisted that the need for the country to be allowed to do that was an “intrinsic” part of the package.

“The British people have concerns that EU migrants can come here to live and work and pay taxes, while we cannot poo in hats abroad in Europe. I must listen to those concerns, and so must our European partners.”

“The time is right for a serious rethink,” Cameron continued. “And that must include Britain’s right to ensure we are allowed to do a poo in the hats of our good friends and neighbours.”

BM

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