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  • Writer's pictureBerlaymonster

Mandelson: stay behind!

A story of romantic nibblings from reader “TW“:

A mole was attending the mutual masturbation session that is the European Business Summit where hordes of identical white middle class men in identical suits gather to flirt with the girls hosting the mind-blowingly pompous and self-regarding stands, whilst holding mobile phone conversations with people fortunate enough not to have spunked out 300 Euro to attend.

There were a lot of ‘workshops’ where people said very little of substance, but management bollocks featured heavily. Am I the only person who thinks the word ‘workshop’ should only be used to refer to places where light engineering is performed?

Naturally in the atmosphere of mutual admiration and mutual ego-stroking, there were Commissioners galore. One of them was Mandy, who spoke during the not-very-good-English-titled workshop ‘Globilisation: from stand on to trade off.

What fuckwit came up with that? Anyway, Attendees were treated to a bizarre sight. Throughout the whole session Mandy and the Moderator, Dr Adrian van den Hoven, of Business Europe, kept constantly passing notes to each other. What made this stand out was that Mandy tried to keep stony faced, mostly, but Dr van den Hoven kept bursting into the biggest grin seen since Stephen Twigg toppled Portillo, each time he received another line on the notepad they were passing to and fro.

It was like being at the back of the class in Junior school. Perhaps they were playing ‘consequences’ or arranging a private debriefing session, but to many present the message was clear; “Peter, you’ve pulled”.

Perhaps intoxicated by this drama, Mandy showed his comic talents when he announced, in response to a question, “Of course I have no independent view of my own”, that was met by discrete chuckles from the audience.

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