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LEAK: New ‘Helium Strategy’ among EU proposals to replace Russian oil


Details of a new European Commission proposal to promote helium leaked slowly out of the Berlaymont this morning, emitting a whistling sound and leading to a series of high-level talks.


The Helium Strategy is part of the Commission’s REPowerEU proposal released today as a surprising new solution to the EU’s post-Russian-oil energy mix.


“If you thought hydrogen was the magic solution to the EU’s renewable energy ambitions, think again,” said Frans Timmermans, the Commission Executive Vice President for Inert Gas. “Helium is the next logical step – or at least it comes next on the Periodic Table. It also fits with the Commission’s general principles of being colourless, odorless and tasteless.”


Timmermans then inhaled deeply from a balloon, adding: “The EU Helium Strategy absolutely won’t work, but it’s funny as hell.”


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