The French president’s clandestine dalliance with an attractive actress has destroyed decades of work on dismantling the French stereotype, say campaigners.
The Bureau de Francais Atypiques said Francois Hollande was just a “beret and a string of fucking onions away” from cementing global preconceptions of the nation indelibly.
“There we were, hoping things had calmed down after he’d left his improbably attractive wife for an improbably attractive TV journalist, and after five years of that three-times married dwarf – twice to former fashion models – and then THIS happens,” said a BFA spokesman.
The organisation represents French people who don’t smoke Gitanes, wear those stripey Breton tops, or cheat on their spouses.
“And both of our members are indignant,” the spokesman said. “But not in a typical French way,” he stressed. “In a more outward-looking, less chauvinistic or shruggy way.”
The BFA said work would continue to rebuild a more rounded outside view of the French, but conceded progress would be slow until long after Gerard Depardieu eventually dies, probably in a wine-fuelled menage-a-trois. With cheese.