An electronic device designed to help wean beer drinkers off their favourite tipple faces EU regulation.
EU lawmongers, still smug from having legislated e-cigarettes, are now turning their attention to the “e-beer”, commonly marketed as i-cans.
The i-can is a light steel tube, intended to emulate a large can or glass of beer.
A thumb-operated button on the back delivers through a hole in the top a small dose of a legal drug intended to deliver some, but not all, of the effects drinkers usually experience from their regular drink of choice.
The active substance over the course of an evening’s use will, much like alcohol, turn the user into an insufferable arse and can induce sickness.
However it doesn’t induce late night urges for fast food, or impair coordination and speech in the same way.
It’s thought to be a derivative of cocaine.
European Bar-Lament: i-Can ban
Also on offer is a smaller “i-wine” model, for ladies and ponces.
But eurocrats fear the devices will turn into accessory items and put some of their favourite bars out of business.
“Where’s the fun going to be in Strasbourg if the interns and assistants aren’t busy getting pissed?” said one ungruntled parliamentarian.