Fear of Cyprus bank panic prompts journo panic
Cyprus has seen a run on bank customers, with journalists queuing round the block at cash machines to interview people calmly going about their private financial affairs.
The panic set in amid fears panic would set in, after international lenders forced the Cypriot government to tax people with unimaginably big bank accounts, like, WELL beyond the amount normal people should have in their coffers. Who has 100k anyway?
The anticipated panic saw a mass exodus of financial journalists from their cramped central bureaus to the mediterranean country and popular sunny holiday destination.
Subsequent comments from eurozone chief Jeroen Dijsselbloem about the rescue plan prompted a run on comments about the comments he made, as editors feared news about the crisis would dry up completely.
News media proprietors have introduced controls on copy about Cyprus, with daily limits on how much any paper or wire can take, to prevent them running out of things to say about it all.
Journalists on the ground said the situation was worsening.
“I’ve got three pre-writes about angry bank customers and panic-buying, but the locals just aren’t playing ball,” said one.
“I need about half a dozen vox pops from disgruntled bank clientele, preferably conforming to some kind of stereotype of mediterranean folk, but nothing. Nothing.”
“Right now I’d settle for one guy with a big moustache who’s a bit peeved because he can’t get enough cash right now to get his wife a nice present on the way home because he forgot this morning it was her birthday.”