EUHQ in policy-deadline panic as ‘summer’ arrives
EU officials are scrambling to complete a full slate of policy initiatives they had promised to deliver “before summer” after discovering that summer has arrived in Brussels and will last only until this Thursday.
“Shit,” said a Commission spokesperson. “We assumed summer would never really come, and we’d have a nicely elastic timetable to finish work on CAP, climate legislation, the Capital Markets Union, and other stuff that we keep talking about doing all the time. Now we’ve got four… wait, three days to wrap up all this crap, AND get everyone vaccinated.”
The rushed timeline also raises the prospect of having to deliver the annual Autumn Economic Forecast by Friday.
Commission legal experts are looking at ways to redefine “summer”, and perhaps the concept of time itself, to extend the self-imposed deadline.
“Actually,” the spokesperson said, “we didn’t ever specify the year… so…”