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  • Writer's pictureBerlaymonster

EU to regulate changing of the seasons

The European Union is entering a new era of policy-making, with the passing of the seasons the latest object of the bloc’s slavish law-mongering.

Summer has already been catered for, with mobile roaming charges falling below new price caps agreed in time for the holidays. And new standardised labels are to start appearing on sunscreen bottles too, thanks to timely intervention from the EU’s regulators.

With autumn round the corner, the commission is to unveil a brown paper on leaf safety in early September and pan-European standards for mellow fruitfulness.

Proposals for voluntary coniferous reafforestation will come into force shortly before Christmas.

And early March next year should see the European Parliament seeking to clamp down on the trade on cute widdle bunny wabbit fur.

The initiatives are all to be set out in the commission’s ‘Vivaldi Strategy’ to be adopted next week.

– In parallel the commission is to launch infringement proceedings against summer for poor implementation and breach of obligations … (under the Nice Weather Treaty? Er, no. ed.)

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