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EU appoints single European swearword


EU lawmongers have approved draft plans for a Single European Swearword, in order to allow grievances to be aired in a harmonised fashion across the bloc’s borders.

The ‘euxpletive’ eventually settled on is ‘kuñardocz’.

It has been hailed by EU governments as “the ejaculation European citizens deserve.”

But one experienced pottymouth called the new unified imprecation “unmitigated fucking bilge.”

“It lacks plosive satisfaction, and any traditional link with scatological or sexual connotations. Nor even does it summon an invocation of a blasphemous nature.”

“In short, it’s shit.”

Kuñardocz has been foreseen as pretty much a ‘catch all’ swearword for any occasion.

It can be used in isolation to describe someone as a ‘kuñardocz’ (a kind of ‘twit’ or ‘wholesale brazen fuckstick’).

In other contexts, users should place the word at the end of a sentence to express anger or frustration, such as:

“Why won’t this door open, kuñardocz.”

“Wo sind meine Brille, kuñardocz.”

“Mais c’est quoi ce bordel, putain, J’ai essayé toutes sortes de crèmes et pommades de merde mais il ne se guérit toujours pas, kuñardocz.”

The SES is to enter into force formally next March.

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