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  • Writer's pictureBerlaymonster

Chocolate teapot foreign chief doesn’t like violence, it says here

Like some squealing handbag-flinging girl outside a Yates Wine Bar in any of Britain’s insipid town centres on a Friday night, EU external affairs commissioner Benita Ferrero-Waldner today futiley garbled “stoppit Gary, isss not worf it” at the warring factions in a divided Iraq.

After another particularly rotten day of violence in Iraq, the powerless foreign policy bint felt compelled to blurt her sentiments to the world, in a touchingly futile bid to end the senseless bloodbath with the power of her compelling rhetoric.

“The European Commision strongly condemns all the indiscriminate attacks which have led to shocking numbers killed and wounded in so many tragic incidents recently” she said adjectivally.

“I am deeply concerned by the spiralling increase in sectarian attacks” she added, tears clearly welling in the corners of her emailed press statement.

“I appeal to all political, religious and tribal leaders, to call on their supporters to refrain from retaliation and revenge. As violence feeds on violence, the perpetrators are achieving nothing for themselves or their people, only breeding further misery.”

Shiite and Sunni guerillas as well as a number of insidious Al Qaeda and Iranian cells, on hearing Ferrero-Waldner’s plea over the airwaves immediately downed arms, intoning “she’s right man.”

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