The European Commission has proposed EU member states urgently stockpile reserves of tomato soup and rice pudding, in a bid to counter the mounting flu pandemic.
It also issued harmonised definitions of the illness depending on the severity, ranging from ‘a bit of a sniffle’ to ‘will you stroke my forehead.’
The Heinz tomato soup and Ambrosia rice pudding should only be deployed as a response in individual cases when the illness reaches the critical tipping point of ‘I can’t cubb to work today.’
In recommendations to the member states, the commission also called for broadcasters to guarantee minimum standards of daytime telly.
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