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  • Writer's pictureBerlaymonster

Brussels – full of spies

Bowler hats, leather boots, invisible cars and sex with impossibly glamorous foreign security agents. All in the realm of a Bond fantasy? Think again!

A senior member of the European Commission’s security department has confirmed that many of the grey-suited, grey men that you see pottering around town aimlessly, are likely to be spies on secret missions. Brussels has “more spies per square metre than anywhere else on earth, with the possible exception of New York,” he said.

Jan Rotzak, member of “ADMIN.DS” – the codename for the Commission’s shady counter-espionage team – went on: “Brussels is where foreign intelligence agencies send their trainees to build their confidence. There’s an enormous number of disenchanted employees, littering the bars around the Commission’s buildings, only too glad of a friend to speak with. They’re easy pickings for a good, or even not so good, spy.”

The Commission takes these threats seriously. All newcomers are briefed on the best way to avoid being “slipped a Mickey Ginn” whilst “on mission”, the EU’s exotic term for a business trip.

And how does Mr. Rotzak know all of this? As a former member of the Dutch secret service, he has placed many of agents within the corridors of power. “We used to like to get them when they were still young, at university. Then, years down the line we would use their information to get the edge we needed.”

Like all good operatives, the Commission likes to keep its friends close and enemies closer. Part of Mr. Rotzak’s job description is “training foreign intelligence and security agents.”

So you see, life in Brussels can be just as exciting as you make it.

For more information on joining the European Commission’s counter-espionage and pro-espionage units, please consult our vacancies at

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