BM launches Brussels ‘slap-a-cyclist’ scheme
Free voucher today! Good for one smite.
Brussels pedestrians, tired of being mown down by cyclists mounting the pavement to circumvent red lights?
Fed up with having to share the Rue de la Loi pavement with 40kmph human projectiles?
Vexed that cars and perambulants are capable of looking beyond the confines of their allocated public travelways in order to ensure collisions are averted, and yet some cyclists will simply hurtle down a slightly different coloured strip of pavement at breakneck speed ringing their tinny little bells as if their trajectory were somehow god-given?
Give ’em a slap!
Upon spotting one of these bewheeled psychlists approaching, simply extend the nearside arm into his or her pathway, with the palm facing the aforementioned.
In most cases, the velocity of the hurtler should suffice for the resulting impact to give rise to the requisite ‘slap’.
Administer your first slap with impunity, with the use of the BM special offer below.
And look out for the new roadsigns demarcating cyclist-slapping zones.
Now, if anyone knows how to get chain-grease and tyre tread out of monster fur, please email directly.