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  • Writer's pictureBerlaymonster


In a shock announcement in this article, self-proclaimed erratic EU satire furball Berlaymonster has called for EU commission president Jean-Claude Juncker not to step down.

Former Luxembourg PM Juncker has faced calls to quit following revelations he did some things that weren’t nice or something and others also did within the law but anyway boo hiss down with him etcetera.

A source close to this blog, me, told this blog, me, “anyone seeking his departure is a kuñardocz, and appears to have forgotten the last sorry, miserable, stultifying twenty years of commission presidents.”

“This guy sounds like FUN” I told me.

“Let him stick around.”

A compromise replacement, I told myself under strict condition that I quoted myself fully, “would inevitably land us with five more years of just whinging about how boring he or she is.”

In the short term, BM said we were “far from done” with coming up with punning alternatives to Juncker’s name or passing snide comments about his chief of staff.

And looking to the coming months and years, “imagine how much more material I’m going to get out of this, if the first fortnight of his tenure has been such a rich seam of funnery.”

“Besides, if he goes, what am I going to do with all these pre-prepared photoshopped Juncker heads I’ve got on file for future tenuous news-themed mock-ups?” I asked, incredulously.

But then lunch wore off.


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