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  • Writer's pictureBerlaymonster

Blood on the seats of power

Look at this photo carefully. There are five people in white coats and three or four prone bodies, seemingly recipient of some medical intervention.

This photo was taken by one of our undercover agents in the European Parliament yesterday, and has been the source of tiresome tireless speculation at ‘Monster Towers. What is going on?

Putting aside fanciful suggestions about chimeras, cloning, sleep deprivation and clinical trials, we got down to some real journalism and have a definitive answer.

It seems that the powers-in-charge are preparing for the bloodbath of the European elections by forcing all at the EP to donate a pint of the red stuff.

Some hardliners have already opted out, including one notable MEP who said “I have an assistant for that kind of thing”. The assistant in question is currently in convalescence.

Parliamentary claret has special properties, it seems. Doctor Hans von Mengl, the medic in charge of the operation, said “the blood collected during these sessions may be stored longer than normal samples, given its particularly high ethanol content”.

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