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  • Writer's pictureAltiero Spaghetti


The European Commission dropped a bumper thirteen-part TV series on Wednesday called “Fit for 55,” claiming millions across Europe had already binge-watched the entire thing.

The series sees ageing multi-lingual climate detective Frans Timmermans come out of retirement to investigate a mysterious killer who appears to be made entirely out of carbon.

Sacked from the force because of his irritating penchant for quoting Shakespeare, prophesying children fighting wars over water and repeating “Summer is Coming,” Timmermans has one final chance to rescue his career and prove the other police commissioners wrong.

The knitwear-clad climate sheriff hits the road in an electric vehicle that takes him deep into Scandinavia’s forest (or what’s left of them), although he has to stop to recharge the car repeatedly which takes up the first three or four episodes.

Timmermans’ nemesis is a killer who leaves no trace apart from a terrible sense of foreboding and warmer temperatures. The carbon killer can only be defeated by detective Timmermans shouting magical acronyms like “LULUCF” and “CBAM” at it.

Critics say the climate change-inspired drama gets off to a slow start but really starts to heat up toward the end at which point (spoiler alert) everyone dies.

Thousands of climate organizations have already panned the entire show in a stream of emails to journalists that probably all could have been boiled down to a few lines to save energy.

Timmermans is best known for his roles in hit TV shows Orange is the New Green, Breaking Bald, House of Cardigans, French series Cinquante Cinq Pourcent, and the blockbuster Conference on the Future of Europe: The Movie, directed by Quentin Tarantino.

Fit for 55 is available to stream now exclusively on the Netflix-rival Europe By Satellite (EBS) platform, known for its risk-taking commissioning, with the high-octane surprise hits including “exterior shots of the Berlaymont” and “stockshots of seaweed.”

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