What the blazing hellfire is ‘political sudoku’?

That was the question on the lips of many a hack leaving a recent European Commission press briefing.

Head commish spoke Johannes Laitenberger declined to speculate in response to a question, and uttered “we are not here to play political sudoku”.

Politicians, used to playing ‘political football’, have clearly become more sedentary.

And this was not one of Laitenberger’s occasional malaproprisms…

He once spent a whole week briefing about EU issues with “Ukrainia” and is known to decline to draw parallels with the phrase “this is comparing apples and peers” (a kind of fruit of an all too different ilk).

No, political sudoku is an actual game, and here, on BM, is an explanation.

You have nine political cliches. Fit all nine into one large square (such as Laitenberger, for example). Every press briefing and commissioner’s speech must contain all nine cliches.

Here’s a grid to get you started (level: C-grade)