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José Mourinho tipped to head proposed new European Super Commission

The EU is preparing to launch a new European Super Commission that would elevate a few elite members of the institution above the rank-and-file – even more so than has already been done a couple of times while people weren’t really paying attention.


EU sources said José Mourinho, newly fired as manager of Tottenham Hotspur, is a leading candidate to run the new Super Commission. “He’s run the show everywhere else,” said the source, who was definitely not an official in the Portuguese EU presidency. “They might as well give him a shot in Brussels.”


Under a proposed treaty change, the new Super Commission would operate according to its own mysterious timetable and procedure, be completely unanswerable to voters or the public, and hold most of its real meetings in secret.

A load of old balls


Reaction from other EU institutions ranged from vengeful anger (European Council president Charles Michel) to urbane disdain (European Parliament President David Sassoli) to genuine shock at being contacted for a comment (Committee of the Regions president NAME TK).


Asked if the plan was a reaction to the announcement by a group of European football clubs to create a new Super League, Commission President Ursula von der Leyen replied: “What? I hadn’t heard anything about that. That’s batshit crazy. Somebody switch on Sky Sports.”

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