David Cameron unveils plans to patronise EU out of its crisis
UK prime minister David Cameron has announced plans to harness his unbearable smugness to leverage Europe out of its economic woes.
The move is the second step in the PM’s EU-rescue plan, having first managed to disassociate his island state – the home of Northern Rock, Lehman Brothers Europe, Barclays Bank, interbank rate-fixing, The City at large and historical underregulation of all concerned – of any part in the galloping spread of debt flu and financial mismanagement.
Under the strategy formally announced today, but already in effect for some months, Cameron is expected to sneer supercilliously at the funny little continentals with their monopoly money, and hope that the condescension somehow ‘trickles down’ and spirits a solution to the crisis.
Impoverished nations across the channel welcomed the new UK approach.
“We so happy,” said one swarthy type, sipping on a cliche with his sandalled feet propped up on a stereotype.
“We like it when he speak Eenglish at the summits veeery slow and a bit louder than usual.”
“And he so funny when he done our accents, haha, ees true we speak funny, as well as being poor!”
What. A. Kuñardocz.